I am not good enough. I am not pretty enough. I am not cool enough. I am not trendy enough. I am not skinny or strong enough. I am not this, and I am not that enough. The list can and will go on forever. To overcome these destructive thoughts we must ground ourselves in the truth of who we are in Christ. In the Lord, we will always be enough.
I Am: Enough
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9
Our everyday lives are determined by choices that we make. We choose the flavor of our 12oz lattes, what color of eyeshadow to wear, which snap chat filter to use, and how we respond to the granny driving 25 miles an hour on the freeway. I can even go about my day with a jealous, bitter attitude about how unfair my life is, or I can accept what life throws at me. In all reality life is fleeting, right?
So why do I still get so caught up in the pressing issues of the day?
I have spent the past 13 months without a car, but this past month I finally was able to find and buy the perfect little coupe! It was just the right balance of sporty and chic. I was beyond thankful and excited that I found such a cute and reliable car. However, long story short, my third time driving the car the transmission started to fail. Uuggh! I was heart sick at the thought of several thousand dollars in repairs. And honestly a little bitter that the Lord would lead me to that car. Thankfully a close friend in my life called me out and encouraged me to check my attitude. She reminded me that life is temporary and regardless of the expenses or the hassle it brings, I get to make a choice about how I will let it affect my emotions and how I live life. I don’t need to let this bad news take me out emotionally. I can remind myself of the truth that my circumstances don’t have to determine the level of peace and joy in my life.
Normally, I would spend the next several months pouting about not having a car and how I will have to spend money, I don’t really have, to fix the dumb thing. But instead, I made the choice to not let this ruin my today and I refocused on the truth that God is still good and His love for me has not changed.
Thoughts and Choices
Life is based on thoughts and choices. Often we get stuck in our heads and believe the lies from the enemy rather than focusing on the Lord’s truth. I believe that Romans 12:2 gives us insight into this very theme of being enough. It encourages us to not conform to the pattern of this world, rather be transformed by the renewing of your mind. The truth tells us that we are Enough and we are loved.
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. –Romans 12:2
Why do we feel like we’re not enough?
Is it something we learned as children?
My previous counselor explained to me that our self-worth is the result of negative thoughts we had in childhood. Children are extremely impressionable and desire to be loved and accepted by their caregivers. Whatever your upbringing, there is bound to be instance that determined what you believed about yourself. For instance, if a young child was told by her alcoholic father that it was her fault he drank, then she will grow up believing that she is not a good enough daughter.
One of the steps in the process of renewing our mind is to examine the negative thoughts we all carry in our inner self. After they are determined, we then get to align it with and reprogram our thoughts to the truth of God’s word.
I AM ENOUGH. Try saying that out loud. Okay, no actually do it!
How does that feel? What thoughts come to mind?
As I am sitting here writing this, I am having a hard time believing it. If I’m enough, then why don’t I have any friends. I’ve always been extremely social and had many people in my life. But why now? After facing 6 months of isolation, I learned something I wish someone would have told me at the beginning.
I could spend all day in my head thinking about my short comings and what I could do to get more attention from people. If I could just wear more Free People and spend more time on my makeup, then maybe they’d want to include me.
How ridiculous does that sound? I’ve never picked a friend in my life based on how good their makeup was. So why do I feel like that I have to try any and everything to get there? After many failed attempts, I am learning to get to a place where right when those thoughts of needing to perform and feeling inadequate come in, to ask the Holy Spirit to help me to discern the lies of the enemy that I am believing and what the truth is about me.
“Keep your mind clear, and be alert. Your opponent the devil is prowling around like a roaring lion as he looks for someone to devour. Be firm in the faith and resist him …” -1 Peter 5:8-9
The lie is that I’m not a good enough friend. The enemy’s lies are always aimed at taking us down and telling us that we are not good enough to receive love from our Father.
The truth is that I am enough.
“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” – Ephesians 2:10
When we only focus on ourselves, we are not enough. But when Jesus is the center of our thoughts, He is enough. Philippians 4:13 tells us that we can do all things through Christ. The emphasis here is not all the great things we can accomplish, but rather it shows that we can live the life, we are called to, when our strength is found in Him. At first it might not seem easy to receive. But this perspective shift is quintessential to walking with Christ.
Life is not meant to be lived free of error. If that we’re the case, we would not need the love and grace of our Father.
Time to examine yourself
Where are areas in your life where you don’t feel like you are enough? Is it in your dating relationship? In your friendships? In the workplace? In school?
What if we could learn to accept and love ourselves the way we were created; in the rawest form of our true self. For some of us, enough is never enough and we continue to pursue external successes in hopes that our inner feelings of loving our self will follow. When we love ourselves for who we are, then we are able to see our accomplishments as no longer a way of filling ourselves up.
The truth is that we are loved. It is because of His love, that we are enough. We can only understand our worth and that we are enough when we consider the love that the Lord gives us. The enemy is out to tell you otherwise. Let’s learn to recognize those lies, and speak the truth about who the Lord says we are.
You are loved and you are enough, right where you are.
“For God so loved the world, that He gave his One and Only son, that whoever believes in Him will have ever lasting life.” – John 3:16.